[BOOK I] THUNDERCLOUD RAINSTORM [ENG] — PART 8

“Il-Jo-ya. I'll pay you for the room, so stay over a hotel for today. Someone's coming over.” At first, Il-jo acted like he didn't understand me.

“I’m going to bring a guest after work today. Do you know my work hours, right? So, get out before then.” 

“What kind of guest?” 

“What you going to do if I tell you?” 

“Can’t you just give me the money? I'll stay quiet in my room." 

At that, I laughed out loud. I laughed at the ignorant Il-jo, "haha… .” 

I crossed my arms and looked into the guy's face which has lost it's smile. Is it because I want to stay in my house now, so he using shallow excuses, or is it because he really desperate for money? And just by making eye contact for more than 5 seconds, Il-jo's head gradually tilted downward. Like a sunflower looking down with a heavy head. 'What did I say wrong?' The sign already so strong. 

“So, do you have a lot of guests?” 

“….” He can't seem to understand it until the end.

I didn't want to do this openly to the guy who likes me. “I don’t usually call people into my house. Except for my lover.” 

Unsurprisingly at those words, Il-jo raised his head. Yes, it sounds like out of the blue. “Did you have a girlfriend?” 

"Not really? It’s only been a week since we met.” Il-jo became a honey-eaten dumb again. It seemed as if he had been hit by my love story, which was steadily progressing without me knowing. I forced a black card into Il-jo's pants pocket. 

“Get some rest. Understand? Don't forget to eat breakfast too.” 

“… yes."  —looking all depressed. 

At times like this, should you know that you have to hide your expression to protect your pride? 

In fact, the definition of a relationship has not yet been established with a person of the same age that I started contacting about a week ago.

She was a beautiful woman with an elegant impression, with her hair neatly trimmed, and a slim skirt that tightened her waist and stomach under a neat blouse like an office worker. 

She majored in clarinet and now works for a classical record company, and she has extensive knowledge of expensive music equipment and wine. 

Both of us have a hobby in common, so we got along well. Today's appointment was suddenly decided yesterday. She showed interest as soon as I told her that I had a few bottles of good vintage wine from a famous domaine.

'Why don't you drink it?' 

'It's a shame to drink such a good drink by myself.' 

'Then will you open it when I go?' I did not hesitate and gladly accepted. It was a cool progression. Perhaps, if this sequence is followed, it will naturally lead to a romantic relationship. And to do that… First, I had to vacate the house. 

“I’m going to work now, so make sure to leave before I come back.” Il-jo just nodded his head without answering. When I left the house, I took a Maserati instead of a domestic car for commuting. It was a car that was never parked in the company parking lot because it would make horses around the company if you drove an excessively good car from the time you were new. Because of that, I had to park in a paid parking lot a bit far from the company and walk to the company building. As soon as I arrived at the office and headed to my seat, Manager Yoon spoke from over the partition at first. “Jeonghan, what’s bothering you?” boring work? Rarely bewildered by an unexpected question, I worked hard to manage my expression and answered. “Is my face that bad? Enough to say that instead of saying good morning?” 

“You look like you have troubles that you can’t talk about just by looking at it. Dark clouds all over your face.” 

No way. To a man about to go on a date, 'Why you look so good?' Isn't it the normal thing to ask in the situation like this? 

“Oh, when I left for work in the morning, I saw that there was no your car in the parking lot, is that why you look so down? I know when your car breaks down, it hurts. Did you leave it for repair?” 

Manager Yoon and Deputy Director Yoo disappeared to their seats while convincing themselves. I sat down, feeling a bit confused.

How my face look before work, I went to the bathroom and carefully looked in the mirror to see if my face was darker than usual. But I couldn't tell what was different about my face I see every day. I thought that I must have been a little nervous about the casual date, so I hurriedly left work. 

Her company wasn't too far away. As soon as she found my car, who was waiting in front of the building, she approached me with a wide smile. “Jeonghan, you came in a nice car. It’s been a while since I’ve ridden a convertible car.” 

“I’m taking it out for the first time this year too.” Now that it's April, it's the perfect time for those who have been waiting for the car lid to open. At my words, she laughed, saying it was an honor. As soon as the woman got into the passenger seat, there was a nice, soothing scent. It was a loveliness that made me want to fasten my seat belt. After asking for permission and pulling the strap lightly to fasten the seat belt, she smiled as if in response.

“Isn’t that a bit too much? Everyone will be mistaken if they change cars for a date.” 

“It's okay. It is true that I brought this car because I wanted to get good point.” 

A pleasant laugh echoed inside the car. But my mood subsided as I got closer to home. I thought I should have called Il-jo before leaving work. I had to make sure that he quietly left the house as I ordered. He is a guy who sometimes does many unexpected things.

Worried that he might be doing something stupid this time too, slowly creeping me up.

Are you sure you're not still staying at home? Or maybe he didn't do strange things to the empty house with a grudge. Or left with porn on in the living room. 

Does Rijo watch gay porn? The stream of consciousness went to the wrong place. I heard a small clearing of her throat, and looking to the side, she muttered softly, 'It seems you're very focused on the road.' 

Was I really out of it? The call to focus on her sounded sweet. I like the way she's talk in a sensible way. Anyway, I apologized and quickly let it go. 

"Sorry. I must have been a little nervous.” 

“Did you know you were being honest about something really strange?” 

“What do you do if you build up your self-esteem while you’re dating?” 

“Wow, look at what you are saying.” 

“You don’t like it?” 

“Is it possible?” 

The atmosphere wasn't bad. i like this person  personality, luxurious taste, thorough self-management… A heterosexual woman who is at the complete opposite end of Il-jo. 

All the people I've dated up until now have been this type of person. But oddly enough, the ending was often emotionally messy. When a rational and common-sense person turns away in an instant, it is so embarrassing that even the good memories of dating will evaporate. I wonder if this is the kind of logic that makes the illusion even more shattered when a person who was unlikely to do so behaves poorly. But Seungjae used to say this every time, taking the side of the women who broke up with me. 'You think it's because they're stupid, huh? it's because your kind of love is basically a mess. If you find someone who can be cool and rational even in front of love, ask them to come and see you. In my opinion it's not even worth to be called as love.' 

Of course, I heard those words with the back of my ear and ignored them. As Seungjae said, it means that I have never been in love. It's funny, I'm not the cold-blooded second-generation male protagonist in some drama... I am just an ordinary man who is easily attracted to beautiful women. As soon as I got home, I parked the car and went straight up to the house via the elevator on the basement floor.

As I pressed the number of floors, my heart pounded ominously. As soon as I got off the elevator, I had an odd thought that Il-jo might be protesting while standing in front of the opened elevator door with a resentful face.

And when the elevator door opened, luckily up to the front door was as quiet as it could be. However, I couldn't shake my anxiety until I opened the front door and went in to check the empty living room. I was relieved only after I opened Il-jo's door and realized that the room was completely empty. Why were I so nervous?

As I sighed, I heard her voice behind my back. “The house is very, very clean, Jeonghan.” 

“It's pretty empty, right?” 

"No. What kind of gallery is it? So pretty. Isn’t it just that you have a neat personality?”

“Oh, I’m actually calling a helper.” 

“You don't have to be so honest. It's okay to brag a bit.” 

I looked around the living room like it's someone else's house. It seems like Il-jo cleaned this house*, as always. 

*JH actually using more intimate way to address this. instead of using "my house" he used "our house"—but I'll just go with this house since it's like more fits this way. 

Even thinking that way, it still felt weird. The beer can I had placed on the table yesterday was gone, and the magazine I had opened was also folded and placed in the compartment under the table. The TV, air conditioner, and sound equipment covered with a leather case were placed side by side on the table according to their size. 

“Do you light this incense candle every day?” Looking at the same place as me, she pointed to a scented candle. 

“Well, I'm not… but it's appropriate  this kind of occasion like today, right?” She took a silver torch from the small box and lit the incense candle. As I recall, this incense candle was in the guest room. Perhaps Il-jo completely understood why I kicked me out of the house today. 

But I couldn't understand the intention of putting this on the living room table. If he messed up today, if he ruined my date, and if he crossed the line I had drawn, I was really going to kicked him out. It was because I realized just a few days ago the contradiction of not thinking of lending the security deposit while lending the surgery cost. But instead of crossing the line, Il-jo got me in the mood for something else. 

***

Il-jo returned home the next day, a little past twelve o'clock on Saturday. Looking at the time, it seemed that he had stayed out of the hotel until it was time to check out. 

If he walk slowly from the hotel where he stayed yesterday to the house, the time is roughly right. He had a good face as he ate well and rested well at the hotel. As soon as he entered the front door, he was surprised as soon as his eyes see me who was seated in the living room. Treating people like ghosts. 

“…are you alone? Did the guest leave?” He spoke awkwardly and I nodded at the approaching Il-jo. 

“Last night. Seems like you booked a standard room?” 

“Yeah, it was very expensive.” 

The standard room is the lowest rated room in the hotel that he went to yesterday. Did you mean to say 'Give me the cheapest room' while checking in? Seem to be at lost...when he didn't get an answer, Il-jo hesitated and continued to speak poorly. “… Add this to the money I owe you.” 

Did he think that I gripping about him using a lot of money? His face was full of regrets about the luxury of last night. 

I could have cleared up the misunderstanding right now, but I didn't. 

“Sit over there for now.” 

I know it well enough. As far as the fact that Il-jo doesn't like talking to me. But if you act that, wouldn't you want to annoy me even more? 

I blinked again as I looked at Il-jo, who was standing there with an expression of wanting to get into the room quickly. Il-jo, who look very troubled, sat down in front of me. 

Anyway what can he do? Even if you ran into the room, that was part of my house too. 

“Are you protesting?” When I asked the first question, Iljo asked with an expression that did not understand what i say. 

"About what?" 

"You don't know? Look at the state of the house.”

“Um… I cleaned it before leaving.” Il-jo did not hide his unhappy expression. I patted the table with my palm in disappointment. 

“Then why did you clean it?” 

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it next time.” Something was strange. This is not the answer I was looking for. “Ah, I’m not saying I don’t mean it completely, only when you're dating… I usually do the same thing in the morning and at night. Um… Did you have a good date yesterday?”

“Why are you asking that?” 

“Just that you don't seem in a good mood.” 

“Why? would you be happy if it failed? But it's not something you should concern yourself with." 

“….” 

“Oh, no. Wait, it would be something you'd concern yourself with." As soon as I finished my words, Il-jo sighed lightly. It was like saying, 'It's a new beginning.' Il-jo sighed as if he had just resigned at the time when I was about to be mean. That scratched my stomach as I pretended to be calm while grinding my teeth inside. 

“Can you tell? It went well, and we decided to go out again.” 

“Yeah, it must be nice.” Il-jo responded immediately. I was speechless for a moment and looked at his face. From yesterday's Manager Yoon's 'what’s bothering you?' suddenly popping out of my mind. 

What is the problem? It felt like the world was fucking me. 

“What the hell was that reaction?” 

"no… I mean, because it's good news for you?” 

Il-jo avoided my eyes and touched his ears as usual. It doesn't sound like a lie, but for a moment, I was very confused. 

“Isn’t that bad for you?” At my words, Il-jo pursed his lips as if he wanted to say something. But then he looked at me and kept his mouth shut. I waited patiently for an answer. Until he finally said “… there's nothing worse than falling in love with you." 

Seriously, what's with this bastard? 

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T/N : I don't know if there's anybody who also like this novel as much as I do, if there's anyone who read this, please leave comments below. Thank you! you can also comment anonymously too tho 💕