[BOOK I] Thundercloud Rainstrom [Eng]

I could hear the clouds rolling in. It looks like it's going to rain soon. A soft voice fell into my ear as if to catch my attention—afraid to avert the gaze to far, such a gloomy sky.

“… I'll contact you." A poorly cracked and locked voice. 

"okay." As I responded politely, I looked back at my cousin in front of me. The boy's expression was a bit surprising. Look like he was about to cry, but his expression was quite calm. 

After all, what I witness more often is fatigue rather than sadness at funerals.

Besides, my uncle died two days ago, but it was already half a year ago that he was unconscious, and it was nine years ago that he collapsed and was bedridden for the first time. 

Perhaps there was enough time to prepare and wait for the death. The last time he handed a handshake that served as comfort, moist moisture adhered to the palm of his hand. 

It was a slender and soft hand for one hand that took care of a dying person for nine years. “It looks like it will rain.” As I said, this time Il-Jo looked up at the sky. I thought that the reason his palms felt so soft might be because of the humidity.

"Yeah." 

“Do you have an umbrella?” 

“No, I'll just get going.” Il-jo laughed at my words, which were not even a joke. I don't know why he's smiling, I stare at that face. Only then did the boy's eyelashes, which had been clumped with tears, barely caught my eyes.

Even after hearing my complaint that it was okay because I have a car, Il-jo went downstairs to the funeral home and borrowed an umbrella. 

It was a black umbrella with the label of the funeral service company printed on it. I refused a couple of times, but Il-Jo grabbed my hand and held out that umbrella to me. 

Forcing something like that to a guy was already a bother, so I just accepted it. I waved the umbrella in my hand and said goodbye.

"Well, I'll be going." 

"I'll contact you." 

This was the second time he said that. 

'What do we do when we meet again?' 

The question came first. But there was nothing to argue in front of a serious person, so I just nodded. I thought as I got into the car. I met him privately 15 years ago, when I was in middle school.

Even if we didn't see each other again for the next 15 years, it wasn't too bad. Such is the case with unrelated relatives.

Again the sky cried low. Il-Jo stood under the eaves and watched me silently until I made my way through the narrow parking lot. 

A small face flashed past the side mirror. The umbrella of the funeral service company that I threw in the passenger seat disappeared one day I can't even remember. Umbrellas with old-fashioned labels were never lifted by me. 

However, even after the umbrella disappeared, the quiet voice that said 'I'll call you' and the eyelashes that were clogged with tears sometimes came to mind. why did you call me relatives when we have not interacted with each other for decades. If they meet again, they are most likely to get messy with money.

After he became an adult, he didn't go to college and didn't have a job, and he spent 9 years with his uncle, working his arms and legs. It was probably something he did in anticipation of a misfortune, but I was told that nothing fell on him in the end. 

At the funeral home, I remembered the image of Il-Jo, who was alone like a military army without their family. 

However, most of the acquaintances of the uncle who visited the funeral home of Deokinji, who had been in the hospital for a long time, found Il-Jo first. Without them, he would have been treated worse than the slippers stung at the entrance to the funeral home. 

How can such a guy live? A poor man with no house, no money saved, no proper job. Thinking about it that way, I got a little curious.

 It's like seeing a homeless person on the street and wondering how they got to that point. Of course this is sympathy—It's not just a low curiosity, but...and because of this curiosity, I thought that if Il-Jo got to give me a call, I won't just ignore it and maybe will have a drink or something. 

But after that, there was no contact from Il-Jo. 

A few months later, it was a rainy day that reminded me of him again. Outside the car window, a man was seen walking in the rain without an umbrella. The moment I saw that pitiful figure, I remembered why. 

The white face that looked at me quietly until the end through the side mirror. Why did you say you would contact me? For a while after the man left, I was silently listening to the sound of the early spring rain hitting the car window. Come to think of it, on that day when the sound of clouds was scary, did it rain or not?

Perhaps we had a relationship that would pass by, as if we had never been in each other's life. Thinking about it that way, I felt a strange sense of emptiness.

Actually, there is no need to give any meaning to it. After a while, I came to my senses and started the car slowly. As we go through life, we let it go without knowing which end is the last. For example, I never thought that the holiday nine years ago would be the last day I could hear my uncle's voice in person. 

If I thought that was the last time, I would express my sincerity, I would tell you about the things that bothered me, and I would not let you go like that... It's bound to feel like that, but no matter what you regret, it's all in the past. life is like that You don't know when you have the chance. 

It was the same with the meeting with Il-jo. It was just one of many farewells that he did not notice beforehand that it was also the last. But, coincidentally, on the day I had such a thought, I got a call from Il-jo. 

____________________

“It rains a lot, but on a day like this… sorry." Il-Jo said in an unfamiliar voice. Carefully looking into my eyes, I felt like I was being stabbed by that gaze. 

'Are you really moving on a day like this?' 

Because that's what I meant as soon as I got out of the car. I lost a word  to say to him. 

“… done. Is that all you have?”

“Ah, that’s all.” 

It seemed that all they had to move was a black backpack on his back, a yellow box in his arms, and a paper bagbag beside his feet. There was no need to open the trunk. Il-Jo lifted all his luggage at once and climbed into the passenger seat. 

It was obvious as I started the car—I glanced inside the paper bag that Il-Jo was holding in his arms. There were things like wet wipes and nail clippers rolling around. That's crazy I didn't say anything, but Il-Jo probably read what I felt through his eyes. The stiffening of the guy's shoulders looked ridiculously obvious. After all, Il-Jo is not an ignorant guy. 

On the way home, we didn't say a word. There was a suffocating silence in the car. Of course, I am not uncomfortable with this silence at all. Because it's the silence I intended. I didn't even feel the need to play music or be kind to talk to him to release the tension. 

It would be petty of me to vent my anger. 

But then, if I'm mad now... Who the hell am I mad at? Even if I get angry, I have to pay it to myself. Because I was the first to propose to Il-Jo to come into my house. Yes, we decided to live together from today. A week ago, I got a call from Il-Jo and I made an impulsive decision back then.

Why? 

“… it's pretty far." Il-jo muttered like a self-talk. Instead of replying to him, I clicked my tongue. Frowning eyes flew straight to the side face. I pointed forward with my chin roughly. “The car is blocked.” Even with excuses, Il-Jo's gaze did not fall easily. He must have been very nervous and confused. 

Not to mention, at a drinking party a week ago, I was quite kind to Iljo. It wasn't intentional. There is a slight difference in temperature between when I put on external kindness and when I am not. On that day, Il-Jo did not ask for a quick loan, nor did he complain about his uncle's family. 

Even though our academic backgrounds and other backgrounds were very different, unexpectedly we were able to have a good conversation. I didn't think it was bad to hear Iljo's meek voice and low laughter, which doesn't get louder easily even in a noisy bar. Besides, no matter what topic was brought up, the story was relevant. 

But after thinking about it, Il-jo was just arguing with me. After all, people mistakenly think that it was a good conversation if they said everything they had to say. In any case, what can be done to people outside the boundaries who are not entangled in existing human relationships is sometimes a lot to say.

Even though I know it's not that rare, I think I felt that Il-jo was quite special that day. Perhaps it was because I was surprised by his behavior, tone of voice, and the way he communicates, as well as the fact that he contacted me in the first place. 

It rained that night as well, and I said I would drive him home. And we arrived at a commercial building, not a residential area. Il-jo said to me, who looked up at the top of the building for a while without any absurdity. He says he lives here on the 6th floor. It was hard to imagine that the top floor of a commercial building was a residential area. Can I go up too? I'm just curious. Wow… How do people live in a place like this? Are all the rooms next door the same? How much do you pay to stay here?

It's not very cheap either. I—drunk—spit those words out and said it impulsively. 'You'd better come to my house.' I don't like the film cut. The memory of that day was still vivid. 'Are you alone at your house?' asked in a young voice with a low-light excitement. Sensing that he trembled a little, I nodded generously.

But the boy quickly shook his head and muttered. 

'But no.' 

'What's wrong?' 

'I'm sorry... .' 

Il-jo rejected my offer over and over again, saying that he could not cause any more trouble. He also said that he wouldn't feel uncomfortable in a house like this because he had been in the hospital for a long time. The bed is also bigger than a bed of the guardian of the hospital room, and most of all, it's his own space where doctors and nurses don't come and go. 

'A space of your own? It's smaller than our bathroom here? I'd rather live in the bathroom.' As I let out an open sigh, Il-jo hurriedly led me into his room. I heard a voice resounding when I spoke in the hallway. That was the only reason I continued to panic. When I went inside, I was even more amazed. There were no windows and the only place to sit was a bed. 

'Why do you live here?' 

'I couldn't get my monthly rent because I didn't have a deposit.' 

'Do you work?' 

'I'm working part-time, but I haven't been able to gather much yet... .' 

'Then stay at my house until you get some money.' 

Come to think of it, I didn't tell him to come to my home once or twice. why did I even set that time as the moving date because a week later is the day when the payment period ends. 

However, after a day or two, I completely forgot the human kindness and shallow sympathy I felt for Il-jo that day. Besides, when I think about living together, there were not one or two things that bothered me. I didn't like having other people's burdens piled up in my house, and I didn't like being conscious of someone all the time. The thing that bothered me the most was that it would be impossible to bring the woman I met into my house and have a glass of wine or two. Come to think of it, I couldn't stand living with someone because I didn't even like my girlfriend who I had been dating for quite a while staying at my house for more than two days. I forgot that I am a very individualistic person. But I turn my palms over the words I promised with my mouth, I couldn't change it. 

Lee Il-jo had already rejected my offer several times at that time, and I was the one who persistently persuaded him to come over. Even if I regret it later, it is unavoidable, so I'm trying to get rid of my anger that has lost its direction right now. “Now we are almost there.” Il-jo did not respond to my blunt words. Have a quick glance. We climbed into the elevator together. When I pressed the top floor, the door closed. Even in the closed space, he was nervous the whole time and didn't say a word, but when he opened the front door and entered, he admired a little. 

"Wow… .” 

“Why? Do you like it?” 

"Ah… I like it more than I thought.” 

At those words, my mind was relieved, and I moved from the corner room where I had originally planned to put the sun down to the second largest room in the house. This was also an impulse. 

As soon as I took a step, I secretly sighed at my stupid impulse, but now it was strange to turn clumsily into the corner of the hallway. I'm going to be ruined by this pride someday. 

“How about this room?” 

Opening the door, I leaned against the door so that Il-jo could enter first. But even though I gladly opened the door, he could not cross the threshold recklessly. He seemed to be overly moved by the great gift that was suddenly given to him. It was fun to observe such a guy. To put it more bluntly, I mean that Il-Jo's reaction moderately filled my bluff. 

“Very good, thank you very much. Really, really… .” Il-Jo was almost crying. I buried my face in my arms over the doorway and held back the laughter that was about to burst out. 

“Can I lie in bed?” The guy turned his head quickly and asked me, so I immediately wiped out my smile and nodded. 

"of course. It's your room now." 

“Wow… .” 

Il-Jo carefully sat on the bed like a borrowed cat and looked up at me. The boy's eyes lit up a bit. This room was originally used as a guest room, so it was fully furnished, but Il-Jo seemed to think that it was all consideration that I had prepared in advance to welcome him. 

Hmm… Well, it doesn't matter if I'm mistaken. Il-Jo's unpacking was ridiculously quick. All clothes hung on five hangers. 

“What clothes were you wearing back then?” 

"Huh?" 

“You have a black suit. It was worn at the funeral.” 

“It was borrowed from the funeral service company.”

That already being said, the clothes he borrowed were the most appropriate. Among the clothes that Il-Jo hung, there was not a single piece of clothing that was close to a suit, such as a shirt and slacks.

After tidying up his belongings, I took Il-Jo who stood idly in the middle of the room, looking at me, and gave him a tour of the house, including the bathroom and kitchen. At first, I certainly didn't think of this...this house is a place where several houses on the top floor have been demolished and remodeled, so the structure is quite unusual. Every time I looked around, Il-Jo faithfully admired and made me felt proud. 

“The house is really nice. Thank you so much." 

"If you are so grateful, please clean it." 

“Oh, is that so? okay. I will work really hard.” 

“Are you good at cleaning?” When I asked with a smile, Il-Jo laughed along.

"Do well." 

 However, since he has such a naive personality, I think he has lived a good life until now. As soon as he got my permission or an order to say, 'You can clean,' Il-jo carefully started looking around the house. I went around evaluating the dust by swiping my finger over the screen or the top of the bathroom chest of drawers. 

"Just sleep today." As if he had accepted those words as a command, Il-jo quietly turned off the lights and went into the room. And the next day. As soon as I stepped on the front door after work, I became froze and stopped in place. 

Clean. insanely clean—As I was about to stand dumbfounded at the front door in shock, Il-Jo poked his head out. Without speaking a word, he asked with his eyes, "Already come back?"

I took off my shoes for once with a sense of dread. The whole house was blinding. Originally, I always called helpers to clean up the house, so I never thought that the old place was dirty, but the place that Il-Jo touched was different. The phrase 'cleaning well' was not an empty word. It was only when I stood on the marble floor that was so shiny that it was embarrassing to step on it, and my startled heart calmed down a little. 

“Do you have anything to say?” I asked the guy who was still looking at me, trying to hide his shock. Perhaps he was hoping for a compliment, he looked at me for a while, then quietly shook his head and went back to his room. When I came into my bedroom with that guy behind me, I was so startled again that I dropped the suitcase in my hand. It's like being in a hotel.

As I walked back and forth in my unfamiliarly neatly organized room, I tried to calm myself down. I hate having someone come into my room, so I told the helper aunt not to touch it too much, but this is a different story. In the end, I decided to acknowledge Il-Jo's cleaning skills. It is said that even slugs have a knack for rolling.

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