[BOOK1] THUNDERCLOUD RAINSTORM [ENG] — PART 5

The next day, I barely managed to get to work until noon, at my usual work hours. It was lunchtime, so I sat down in the empty office, and someone approached me.

“Jeonghan, why did you suddenly take half day leave in the morning? Of all day when we have our weekly meeting.” 

“Oh, Manager Yoon. A relative who lives with me suddenly got sick.” 

Manager Yoon's eyes widened in an instant as if she had heard an unexpected story. "Oh my..." 

“So I went to the emergency room.” 

"Emergency room? So thats why the section manager didn't say anything. Are your relatives okay?” 

"I do not know yet, we'll have to wait and see." I spoke vaguely. 

Of course I know. After all I came back after hearing the troublesome words that he needs surgery from the doctor. 

However, I ended the topic moderately because I didn't want my co-workers start talking among themselves and getting all nosy. 

“But didn’t you come too early? You should've just eaten out for lunch. If it was me, I would play around a bit, and then I came in just in time by 2 o'clock. By the way, did you live with your relatives?” 

Why does the conversation still go on? 

“Recently, it’s just temporary.” 

I fixed my gaze on the monitor and answered. After showing a bit of a blunt reaction, Manager Yoon seemed to think she was asking too much of a personal topic, so she quickly stepped back. 

“Yeah, I sent meeting minutes to you by email. Please check it out.” 

Then I just smiled with my eyes and nodded my head. As soon as Manager Yoon, holding the gargling cup, disappeared, I searched [acute cholecystitis pain] in the Internet search bar. 

That was the name of the disease that Il-jo was diagnosed with : acute cholecystitis. At first I thought it was just an upset stomach. But it did not subside even after giving a digestive agent, so I suspected maybe it's a stomach cramp. 

At six in the morning, it was strange that the symptoms did not subside at all, even when almost at dawn, so I ended up going to the emergency room. Il-jo was unable to straighten his back, and even while biting his lips, he stopped me.

'Sometimes this happen. it will be better after I sleep.' 

'Leave it? how much long? You've been like that for six hours!' 

After that Il-jo kept his mouth shut, thinking that it would be better not to provoke me any more. 

The guy lying in the backseat of the car groaned while changing his position frequently during the short trip to the emergency room. I even thought that if I hadn't told him to go to the emergency room because it was look so  painful, he might have died while holding on to it. 

How could a guy who take care of his father with a serious illness be so insensitive to his own illness? 

When I arrived, I had to wait the whole time in the emergency room. I was thinking of contacting Kyung-eon, but suddenly Il-jo turned around and crying until his his cheeks become wet. So I just turned the car and headed to the hospital where my family doctor work. 

At the hospital we arrived at, blood was drawn and an epigastric ultrasound was performed immediately. As I sat in the waiting chair, exhausted from lacking of sleep, I barely remembered why I had planned to go to the emergency room instead of here in the first place. Now, someone in my family might know that I live with Il-jo. It wasn't time to breathe a sigh of relief. 

'Lee Il-jo guardian, please come in.' be a guardian to the unfamiliar name that was clearly referring to me, I got up and headed into the treatment room. Fortunately, the cause could be identified immediately with ultrasound alone. It was said that inside Il-jo's body was a stone that filled the gallbladder.

 'The gallstones are too big. In fact, if it is this size, surgery is recommended. Are you new to the symptoms?' 

The doctor's question was not immediately answered. Even if I didn't have to listen to the answer, I could tell that he wasn't the only one who went through the same situation once or twice. The doctor opened his mouth again.

'There are cases in which surgery is not performed in asymptomatic cases... In my opinion, the gallstones are very large and there are symptoms, so I would recommend surgery.'

Il-jo did not show any reaction and listened to the explanation calmly. It was me who shook my head and sighed. 

'Did you have any more illness?' 

'I'm sorry.' while bowing his head. 

When he bit his lips, Il-jo's body became look infinitely smaller. It's not his fault, but he seems to have gotten used to paying attention and apologizing. 

While the attending physician was explaining how long the operation would take and how it would be done, I sent a text message to the company saying that I would use the morning shift. 

And Il-jo was immediately admitted to the hospital. Because of the pain that caused by thr gallstones he couldn't help it that he couldn't straighten his body properly. 

We headed to the single room we were assigned to. As soon as I closed the door and were alone, I asked him. 

'Didn't you know you have gallstones?' 

'I did not know. It'll get better with a little patience... I thought it was heartburn.'

'Have you never had a general check-up?' Il-jo shook his head with an expressionless face.

It's only natural that you probably haven't even been to a job in your 30's. The guy who glanced up at me was startled and turned his head towards the window for nothing. 

Seeing him openly turned away from his gaze made me feel bad again. The one who didn't hide their irritation came out. If there had been no kissing incident, I might have properly filtered out the foolish and pathetic gaze of Il-jo. 

But after that day, I didn't have to pretend to be kind to the outside world, so I just did what I wanted. There is no one other than Seung-jae and Kyung-eon, who showed each other to the bottom of their friends, who showed their true self to this extent. 

As soon as I found out about my personality, I got nervous as much as I could. As I sighed and wrinkled my eyebrows, another suffocating silence filled the room. 

Of course, I didn't feel uncomfortable with that silence at all. Because the silence it's what I  intended. 

With an expression that look like he wanted to be alone, he was sweating profusely and fell ill, and after a while he quietly put on a blanket.

Last morning, the guy who couldn't sleep because of the pain and was exhausted fell asleep, and I finally left the hospital room.

Either way, he's really unlucky. Life in a mess, and still getting sick. A pitiful and pathetic life.

“The excruciating pain that you can’t even speak, it hurts like death… you can't even breathe properly.” 

While reading the information in the Internet search window, my heart felt a little tight, so I just turned off the window. 

I left the office at lunchtime, completely empty of people. Then, while smoking a cigarette in the smoking room, I stared at the mirror. I wasn't able to point out the resemblance to Il-jo on my face. If we put us side by side, we can't even guess that we're cousins, but that has a big environmental part. 

It's like they were made with the same material to create a completely different shape. I didn't know this by accident recently, but the way we smile broadly is the most similar. However, it can be said that there is no personality commonality at all. I am not the type to focus on my ego while analyzing and defining my personality. But when I look at people I can never understand, I say, 'I am extremely different from them.' I often think like this.... 

Among those incomprehensible, there was also a part that we can actually get along. 

Our first meeting goes back to the summer vacation of the second year of middle school. At that time, I had visited Jeju Island because of the invitation of my uncle. 

My uncle drove an unsuitable little truck to meet me at the airport. The attire that fell off his body and his comfortable smile were completely different from what I had seen back then at home, so I couldn't recognize him at first. 

On the way from the airport to Seogwipo, the truck went into the mountain road, contrary to my expectations of not being able to take my eyes off the sea outside the window. The road narrow enough for a truck to pass was an unpaved dirt road. 

The car body rumbled to the point of almost moving uncontrollably, and branches occasionally slipped through the windows of the moving trucks and dropped leaves. And as soon as I got out of the truck, a kid who was younger than me ran out calling my uncle 'Daddy'. I was embarrassed by the existence of a cousin I had never seen for a while, but I, who was subtly precocious, quickly noticed my uncle's affair.

And the reason why he secretly invited only me here. 'Our Il-jo is very shy. It would be nice if Jeonghan could be his friends.' 

My uncle had a particular preference for me, who was the only sane person among my cousins who already believed in family money and acted like crazy. 

Knowing that my uncle's request would soon return with ample pocket money, I approached Il-jo without saying a word. The first impression of Il-jo is...his face, eager to get to know me, was a bit pathetic. 

'You're childish and gullible.' 

And even then, I seem to have thought that it was strangely similar to me while watching the little Il-jo. After I found out that we were from the same bloodline, I think I was trying to find more similarities. 

'Are you Jeong-Han? Dad talked a lot about you. Are you also in your second year of middle school? Did you come here by plane?' 

He was shy and spoke bunch of nonsense. It was obvious that he want to look good in front of me. 

It wasn't nice to hear that disorganized, excited tone of voice, but I wasn't stupid enough to show that Il-jo annoyed me in front of my uncle. 

And all that summer, my uncle didn't explain much to me about Il-jo's existence. Things like how he got his son and where Il-jo's mother, who has never been seen. 

But even without listening to that explanation, I could tell just by looking at his eyes and actions. That Il-jo is his 'real son', whom he cherishes as much as or more than his other children. 

'Dad, I'm going to land too. Now I have friends.'

The day I left the house, Il-jo snorted. At that time, I didn't know that it was from a crying period, so I just thought he had a cold in midsummer. Il-jo grabbed my arm, who had only been concerned about keeping a distance from him so as not to catch a cold. His hands were soft and warm. 

‘Jeong Han-ah, do you live in Seoul? I want to go too.' 

'Okay. When you come to Seoul, I will introduce you to my friends too. Let's play together.' 

The sound of cicadas piercing the ears was annoying. I was suffocated for nothing by Il-jo's earnest expression, acting as if I was the only friend in the world. 

Having no fear of being illegitimate child and boldly  he'll come to Seoul. 

His naivety somehow irritated me so much.

First, I glanced at my uncle who got on the truck and started the engine, then bowed my head and whispered to Il-jo's ear. 

'By the way… Don't dress like this when you come to Seoul. Because it's look tacky.' Those black eyes that were in shock were blinking.

now the problem are fixed, I thought so in my heart. With a single word of this, I knew that he would never come to Seoul to see me. And since then, Il-Jo has never really come to visit me. We met again after my uncle fell ill. He came to Seoul not to see me, but to take care of my uncle, and I also came not to see him, but to visit him. 

Even after returning to Seoul, I sometimes remembered those eyes. The soft, warm hand that held my arm. Wondering the reason why I was thinking about it... I think it's because that  was a rare thing that a person show their emotions so blatantly like him. 

And the story that follows is a pathetic tragedy. Il-jo is an illegitimate child. And his birth mother is nowhere to be found. His father, whom he relied on, had long since lost his place in the family due to a business failure, and to make matters worse, he collapsed from an incurable disease and was completely abandoned. Until then, my aunt and her children, who had been courteous to my uncle as a source of money, have since neglected my uncle and regretted the legacy that flows into the hospital bills. After falling, just so my uncle died after living in the hospital for nine years, unable to get up again. 

A disease of unknown cause that slowed the brain, the muscles of the whole body slowly hardened. In the end, he couldn't even move the muscles of his neck to pass the porridge and water, so he put a tube on his stomach to eat, and then he heard that he died when the muscles that control breathing hardened. 

Just before he died, his weight dropped to 30 kg, and I couldn't even  recognized my uncle's face. And Il-jo who spent all his twenties helping him like that. 

Naturally, uncle's share of the remaining property was shared between my aunt and her children. People might think that Il-jo must have claimed to be a caregiver in hopes of a miscarriage, but in reality he did not receive a single penny. This is also one of the things I wanted to ask Il-jo. What on earth were you thinking of protecting him like that knowing that you wouldn't even receive an inheritance?

In particular, I heard that my uncle's other children were quite rude to Il-jo for the past 9 years. It wouldn't have been easy to endure.

My cousins said they would visit him, who was lying on the bed, once a year, but each time it happens a fistfight broke out in the hospital room. The fact that Il-jo would have been a one-sided scolded could easily be guessed, even if it wasn't the pretentious reports of my cousins. 

How could they have been so harsh on a guy who wouldn't be able to inherit anyway?

But somehow I know a little bit. The low-quality human nature that acts even more evil towards the weak who have no will to resist. Actually, don't I have that side too... 

'By the way… Don't dress like this when you come to Seoul. Because it's looks tacky.' 

When I realized, I already had smoked three cigarettes in a row. Leaving the smoking room, I texted Il-jo. 

[I'll go to the hospital after work.]

There was no reply. Stretching on the subject. I was felt a little annoyed again.

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