[BOOK I] THUNDERCLOUD RAINSTORM [ENG] — PART 11

By the end of spring, it rained frequently. The torrential rain that fell, stopped only at noon. It felt like the rain that had been pouring down until I went swimming in the early morning to avoid the crowds of time had now completely stopped. 

'Let's sleep a little more... .' 

Because it was the weekend, I allowed myself to form a bit of laziness. As I slept all morning, I felt someone moving in and out of the room. Without checking, I know who it is. It must have been the one that killed a lot of footsteps. And a few hours later, I woke up to the noise of washing machines and dryers from somewhere in the house, and to the sound of water from a humidifier spraying water mist from the bedside filled with water. 

Compared to the time before, I think that there is something convenient because there are people living with me. I looked at the time and it was a little past 11. As soon as I left the room thinking about what to eat for lunch, I saw Il-Jo folding the laundry. 

Since the weekdays are busy because of his part-time job, he often cleans the house every weekend. 

“Il-Jo ya.” When I called his name, the guy who sat, stiffened his back at once. Even the hand that was moving before, diligently stopped. 

It's not like I'll eating anyone.

Is unrequited love close to fear?

 “Il-Jo ya” There was a yawn at the end as I called him again. Out of shape. The boy did not answer easily. He seems to have noticed that I just calling him for fun. Of course, as Il-Jo had already figured out, I didn't call him because I had a specific purpose. 

I just want to bothering him a little more. “Hey, debtor.” Next to Iljo, a tower of laundry almost as tall as he sat was building up a narrow tower. I went and tapped it with my toe. In a hurry, Il-Jo tried to catch the tower that was falling helplessly. 

Hahaha! 

I laughed out loud without realizing it, and Il-Jo turned stiff. The boy's eyes were strange.

“What?” 

"Do not laugh." 

"Why?"

"I'm scared… .” 

“Hey, it’s good when people laugh, so why do you say it’s scary? You are not really polite there.” 

However, Il-Jo did not change his opinion. I'm pretty stubborn I slumped down next to him and helped fold his broken laundry back. 

“Hey, Debtor.”

“….” “ 

"The debtor didn’t answer, I lent the money for nothing."

Then Il-Jo slowly looked into my eyes and asked. 

“How long do I have to pay it back?"

"Well? It is up to the agreement”

 "Agreement?" 

“Will you pay off a certain percentage per month, or do you pay it off all at once.

"Um, um, What do you prefer?” Il-Jo nodded eagerly, pretending to understand what I was saying. 

"I do not care. Whether I receive that penny divided or all at once.” 

“… .” 

“You decide.” 

“Then I’ll think about it for a bit.” 

"Great. When it's decided, let's write a contract." 

Il-Jo had a bewildered expression on whether he even needed a contract. However, my theory is that the closer the relationship, the clearer the debt relationship. In order for him to live in a harsh world in the future, it is better to learn how to write a contract properly at this time. 

Il-Jo took all the washed laundry to the dressing room and organized it, this time with a duster in his hand. It was an ostrich fur duster that Seungjae's friend forced me to do as an importer. It's strange that I still remember the history of that thing. Because I had completely forgotten that we even had such a thing in our house until Il-Jo brought it out.

Il-Jo, who came out of the living room, looked at me softly and asked. He held the duster tightly in one hand. 

“It’s the weekend, where are you going?” The intention of asking such a question was obvious, so I didn't even laugh. Am I disturbing the general cleaning? But, while I was sleeping, I carefully turned the blackout blinds and filled the humidifier with water and pretended to be gloomy.

As I stared at him without hiding his scornful laugh, Il-Jo gave strength to the hand holding the duster. It was as if he wanted to brush me off with it.

“Why do you want me to go out?” I took a bottle of alcohol out of the kitchen cupboard as if to tease him. It was a Dutch vodka that I received as a gift the other day, and it was in the form of brewing a tea bag with alcohol. It was cumbersome to eat, so I couldn't find a specific day to take it out, but the timing is good now, so I just laid out the tools on the table that had just been polished by Il-Jo and concentrated on drinking. 

“It’s not it… you have a girlfriend right? Aren't you have a date?" 

"Ah." My stopped for a moment. I completely forgot. Woman... what was her name again? I thought I really liked her, but I can't even remember the name, it's a weird feeling. 

After that, we just ended without a proper closing greeting. In fact, it's an embarrassing relationship to even call it 'Together'. Besides, I had forgotten too, so I didn't have time to tell Il-Jo that the relationship had ended without any progress. Let me tell you, it was actually over before it even started. But I didn't. Because Il-Jo might have strange hopes. 

Also, if you ask me why we decided not to meet again, the answer is somehow difficult.

“Of course. But I want to rest on the weekend.” In response to the roughly twisted answer, Il-Jo  had a mysterious expression on his face as if he knew something. I felt that Il-Jo didn't agree with me at all. But instead of refusing, he turned around and concentrated on cleaning again. And I focused on brewing tea with alcohol. It was nice to see the color of the tea leaves spreading through the transparent vodka. Rather than thinking about the woman who I has already forgotten her name, it is inevitable to lose my gaze at the beautiful sight created by the complex physical sign in front of me. The excitement brought about by a new meeting quickly cooled down ridiculously. Just like the intoxication that rises slightly from a can of cheap beer goes away at once after washing your face, leaving only a bad headache at the end. 

At first, I thought I had some passion, but now I can't even find a trace of that passion. Perhaps, as we get older and experience dating is accumulated, dating according to the pattern becomes more and more boring. Even before the start of a relationship, the energy consumed in one routine of that relationship is already guessed. As a result, it seems that from a certain moment, the feeling of fatigue was often greater than the excitement. Even if the relationship develops naturally by following the procedure, many may not be satisfied with the futile end of a love affair, a catastrophe in the end. 

It seems that I have always felt skeptical about the fact that after going through all these processes, in the end, what is left is the remnants of a relationship that is inferior to others. Of course, there are people who enjoy the process more than the result, but… at least not me 

“Have you ever been in relationship?” 

“What kind of relationship… .” In response to my sudden question, Il-Jo mumbled insignificantly. He was now wiping the floor with a tightly wrung wet mop. Even after running the vacuum cleaner, Iljo directly wipes the floor once more with a mop. Even though he said he didn't have to do that because it seemed like a lot of work to get down on his knees and crawl around the house, he had to wipe it with a damp cloth, but he seemed to have cleaned it properly. yes what I didn't bother interfering, as it was the one who consumed the labor anyway. However, when I looked down at Iljo, who was kneeling on the floor with his back on the sofa and vodka in one hand, I felt like I had become an evil  stepmother. 

“Stop that, wash your hands, come here and sit down. Try this one.” 

Il-Jo quickly threw away the mop and washed his hands. It was the bait I threw because I knew he wanted to sit next to me rather than drink. After pouring a cup of tea-infused vodka, Il-Jo was accustomed to accepting the cup.

“Why is your hand like this again?” 

"Eung?" 

Sitting close, something stood out. At first glance, Il-Jo's hand looked like sandpaper, and there were burrs around the nails, which looked quite painful. As I pulled his hand, Il-Jo, who realized what I was looking at, instinctively tried to grab his hand and pull it out. 

“Why?” 

“Because my hands aren’t pretty."

"I know.”

Il-Jo was embarrassed and clenched his fists to hide the grabbed hand. It felt even worse when I touched it. Obviously, this wasn't the case when we first shook hands at the funeral. Even after 9 years of hard labor in nursing, I thought it was a beautiful hand. Now the soft back of his hand was like a dry branch. It's a pretty hand... Beautiful hands that look delicate and slender like a willow branch because of their thin bones. 

“Apply something like hand cream.” 

“It’s a man’s hand, what the use?” 

As soon as I let go of my hand, Il-Jo replied shyly, but hid it behind his back. “But don’t you answer the question I asked earlier? Have you never been in a relationship?” At my question, Il-Jo lowered his eyes and hardly opened his mouth. “Really?” 

“…well." Then yes. I was convinced of the vague answer that was neither agree nor deny. This guy, who has no dating experience, wants to take care of his pride in front of me, who is his  unrequited love. If you don't have a plausible dating experience by the time you reach your thirties, you might feel ashamed. I filled the poor virgin again with wine. 

“It could be. Love is not necessary.”

“… .” 

“But you can’t be with a girl at all? A lot of people have given you their numbers. Love should be forgotten with love. Choose one of them... .” 

“How did you know that?” 

“I heard rumors about you at the company.”

Il-Jo looked a little confused. He don't know how fast a company rumours spread. I brought up another story that would terrify Il-Jo. 

“Did you eat dinner with Reception Yuri?” 

“How did you know that?” This time, his voice was much louder than before, as if he was really surprised. “I also ate with Yuri several times. He's a bit quick-witted." At my words, Il-Jo couldn't hide his complicated expression. 

And I noticed the emotion under that expression. It was obviously jealousy. Seriously, he's jealous of the subject. When he found out that there was a woman I was dating, I thought it was surprising that she acted quite bluntly, but again, it was all acting.

“But aren’t you a real womanizer?” 

“… .” 

“I’m just curious. Were you blindly liking men from the beginning? Have you ever dated a woman?” 

“… .” 

“Yuri-ssi is fine.” Il-Jo's eyes looking up at me, were overflowing with emotions. I pretended not to notice them, put the glass to my mouth and lowered my eyes.

And at this point, I expected that Il-Jo would once again express his emotions. Like he did last time, he hung a bunch of tears on his eyelashes. Why are you talking like that in front of me when you know I like you? Why are you stabbing me in the face to meet a woman? 

If you cry, then I was going to record it on video this time. Watching Il-Jo gently bite his lip, my heart pounded with excitement. Wow? But Il-Jo did not live up to my expectations. 

“It’s because Yuri-ssi just so nice. But I already said no.” As I listened to the calm voice of the guy who quickly picked up his emotions, I was blown away. 

I asked in a bored voice. "Why?" 

“… I'm not into woman. All I fell in love with were men.” 

“Hmm… .” Of course, it was expected, but after hearing it in person, I feel bad for some reason.

The phrase, 'All I fell in love with was a man' scratched my nerves. Come to think of it, I was concerned that he kept his mouth shut until the end about his dating experience. He don't want to spread precious memories to a character trash like me? What does that mean? 

And on the following Monday, as soon as I went to work, I could hear the updated rumors of Il-Jo. “There is Reception Yuri.” 

“Oh, how are you? I got off work on Friday and made an appointment... I went to work fully armed that day was a day.”

 “You were rejected.” 

“Awesome, if Yuri-ssi doesn’t work, how pretty do you have to be?” 

“Look like he already have a girlfriend. There’s no way he wouldn’t.” 

“It’s not that… He said he couldn't because he had someone he like." 

“Awesome. Isn't he so pure?!" 

"It’s just that handsome people don’t want anyone to own them, so let’s keep them as cultural assets together, okay?"

I smirked as I secretly stole the chatter of the staff. It seems that Il-Jo also showed his candor without regret. The mood that had subsided over the weekend was temporarily restored. 

“But what’s even more awesome?” 

“What is it?” 

"The person he like… He said he was from our company.” At that moment, a familiar reaction like a professional audience on TV resounded.

It was when the employees who screamed with joy once were trying to figure out 'a handsome part-timer's unrequited love'. At the same time, an unnoticed managing director appeared, and the employees were scattered. And I was a little curious. The unexpectedly honest guy must have even confessed that the target he likes is a man.